not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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