I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize