it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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