Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize