I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
where are my eyebrows?
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