I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
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So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
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I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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