I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize