So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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