I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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