AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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