Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize