Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize