i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize