Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
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I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
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A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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