no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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