This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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