My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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