laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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