well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
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i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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