So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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