I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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