i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize