Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize