you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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