So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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