If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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