I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize