If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
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I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
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Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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