I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
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Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
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i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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