I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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