she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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