At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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