Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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