I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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