just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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