I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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