Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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