Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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