I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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