I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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