I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
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Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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