You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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