Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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