You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
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Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
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ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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