oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
dude. I can hear the air.
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