there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize