their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize