Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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