Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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