What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just found puke in my bra..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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